Service Worker Gifts

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"On my home planet, I was a deity."

"Do I detect a new resentment?"

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

I just wanted to congratulate you on your fine iPhone. What's the catch? No catch. I think it's a great consolation. I'll bite. To what? To your great cafe job, my aging service worker. The iPhone is made overseas, like so many high-tech products. They've outsourced all those jobs. So you can't get a good middle-class manufacturing job but you can play Angry Birds and get me a large coffee! Decent idea, points off for long-windedness.

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"One of those 'damn' foreigners will be along soon to carry out your prostate examination!"

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

Human Cull: Men who tell female server workers to smile.

"Money makes the world go 'round, huh?"

Employees must wash hands before returning to the dull, menial, repetitive and outrageously under-paid service-sector jobs they're lucky to have.

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Efficiency savings...protect front line services BLAH! BLAH! refocus on core objectives BLAH BLAH!"

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Pizza Delivery Delays

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Hot Line

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'What, no onion rings?'

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.

Too rare perhaps?

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

"I read that 40% of us have to take a second job just to make ends meet...It's a disgrace!"

'Will that be for here or to go - and if it's to go, can you take me with you?'

“It’s ok to leave the lid up at home but not on a submarine.”