Service Station Worker Gifts

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'You'll have to take your hybrid somewhere else. We only service real cars here.'

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Gas Station Attendant

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

Car Breast-Feeding

"Nap time."

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Self Service Island

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

“It’s ok to leave the lid up at home but not on a submarine.”

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

"Your son is a bus driver? Well, my Andy goes to university..."

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

'No, I'm not wearing high heels. I look taller because the minimum wage will increase and now I can stand taller.'

Too rare perhaps?

'Will that be for here or to go - and if it's to go, can you take me with you?'

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

"I read that 40% of us have to take a second job just to make ends meet...It's a disgrace!"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

"Can this wait? I'll never live it down if my staff sees you henpecking me."

"On my home planet, I was a deity."

"You folks drunk enough yet?"

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

'Service is just a pastime, pal - my job is to collect taxes.'