Supermarket Survivors Pillows

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

'I am sorry Davis, your bonus is a bit different this year, its all down to cashflow; but you can take your pick.'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

Super express lane for working mothers only!

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

Wild fruit

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

Till malfunction

"We've got a real feisty one here. We caught it trying to cross the stream behind the store."

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

Complaints department

'We both know that you didn't catch that in the wild, sweety. Now put the fish in the cart, and go grab us some of that really soft toilet paper.'

Mother has strait jacket on son to control him at super market.

Spring Water - Cholesterol Free.

"They had a special offer at the Supermarket."

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

The Store That's All Closed-Up

"We made a bit of a mess in Aisle 2."

Supermarket trolley crash

Potted meats section.

'My dad says job security and company loyalty are an urban myth.'

Trolley Rage.

'And the quality of your merchandise has really gone downhill.'

Aggressive grocery shopping

Skeleton in supermarket checkout queue

'Uh - oh... it seems the cashout queue was really long today...'

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.