Shopping Survivor Pillows

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.

'May day! May day! We have a disgruntled husband at the information desk!'

"I hate Christmas shopping."

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

"Wish me luck, I'm off to the shops to join the socially distanced queues..."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

Changing Room Decisions

Smart card.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

Shopping Torture

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

Till malfunction

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

Man is attacked by barcodes.

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

The back-to-school shopping season claims its first victim.

Ladies Lingerie.

This Spring's Girl will be a warrior type, a survivor.

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

Eulogy: I shopped Til I Dropped

"Just groceries? Oh I see..."