Retail Survivors Pillows

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Brick and Mortar

'I am sorry Davis, your bonus is a bit different this year, its all down to cashflow; but you can take your pick.'

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

"Returns"

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

Shopping Torture

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

'Yes, it is a stressful job.'

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

"Any chance of some credit?"

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

Till malfunction

"We'd like to switch you from working under the radar to living off the grid."

This Spring's Girl will be a warrior type, a survivor.

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"You don’t have to buy everything you see on Instagram."

'As an unpaid intern, Peabody, I think you're the ideal person to explain to the workforce why it is necessary for me to cut their pay in these difficult times for business.'

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

The Store That's All Closed-Up

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

Complaints department

'We both know that you didn't catch that in the wild, sweety. Now put the fish in the cart, and go grab us some of that really soft toilet paper.'

The 2020 Black Friday

'I'm not sure what to do with you. You had a customer complaint this morning, then, a few minutes ago, you got a customer compliment...I guess they balance each other out.'