Supermarket Survivor Pillows

Hunting cavemen - 'We had that last week,'

Man unable to find checkout as signs say: 'Eight items or less','Cash only' and 'I'll think of something'.

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

Skeleton in supermarket checkout queue

'Uh - oh... it seems the cashout queue was really long today...'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Trolley Rage.

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

"I couldn't get them apart. Will five trolleys be alright?"

Static Cling Peaches.

Complaints department

Eggs broken by next customer signs

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

Super express lane for working mothers only!

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Wild fruit

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

Till malfunction

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

Bobsleigh practice.

"We've got a real feisty one here. We caught it trying to cross the stream behind the store."

Supermarket customer types.

Christmas Special Shopping Trolley.

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

"They had a special offer at the Supermarket."

'We both know that you didn't catch that in the wild, sweety. Now put the fish in the cart, and go grab us some of that really soft toilet paper.'

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

The Store That's All Closed-Up

"We made a bit of a mess in Aisle 2."