Shopping Survivalist Pillows

Batteries Not Included.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

Smart card.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"It's from an American company that wants to do some outsourcing!"

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Shopping Torture

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

Final clearance sale.

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

Man is attacked by barcodes.

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

Till malfunction

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

The back-to-school shopping season claims its first victim.

"Just groceries? Oh I see..."

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

Complaints department

Shopping Days

"What really would be fun is if eBay had some department stores we could go to."

'They didn't fit when you got them home? Maybe your contents settled during shipping?'

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

The Store That's All Closed-Up

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"