Supermarket Survivors T-Shirts

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

'I am sorry Davis, your bonus is a bit different this year, its all down to cashflow; but you can take your pick.'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Super express lane for working mothers only!

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

Wild fruit

'And what seems to be wrong with the sprayer, sir?'

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

Till malfunction

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

"We've got a real feisty one here. We caught it trying to cross the stream behind the store."

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

The Store That's All Closed-Up

Mother has strait jacket on son to control him at super market.

Spring Water - Cholesterol Free.

'We both know that you didn't catch that in the wild, sweety. Now put the fish in the cart, and go grab us some of that really soft toilet paper.'

Complaints department

"They had a special offer at the Supermarket."

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

"We made a bit of a mess in Aisle 2."

Supermarket trolley crash

Trolley Rage.

'My dad says job security and company loyalty are an urban myth.'

Potted meats section.

'And the quality of your merchandise has really gone downhill.'

Aggressive grocery shopping

Skeleton in supermarket checkout queue

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.