Supermarket Storyteller Gifts

'I knew they had formed a syndicate but didn't know they had won this week's record payout!'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Only One Item or Fewer.

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

Artificial Isle

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

Complex Carbs

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

Large Very Fresh Eggs

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

Eye of Newt Helper

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Wild fruit

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

"Someone's gone to look for a price - they won't be long!"

Till malfunction

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

'Smooth Mustard' and 'Coarse mustard'

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'