Shopping Storyteller Gifts

That was 16 items.

Subscribe to The Times? Girl Scout cookies? Donate to the food bank? Bob only needed a few items, but first he had to walk the Solicitor Gauntlet.

Cut Price

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

Modern History: Last Year/Last Month/Last Week/Yesterday.

'I've got it written down...'

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"