Shopping Adventurer Gifts

Insider Information.

'I would like to return this mirror. Its reflection doesn't look a thing like me.'

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

Confused by his wife's shopping list, yet determined to fly solo...Roy simply filled his trolley at random.

Final clearance sale.

If you don't see what you want please ask

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

"What really would be fun is if eBay had some department stores we could go to."

"Do you have any gum?"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

The Salesman

"How was work?"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Myths and legends...

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Mysteries.

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

Self-Checkout.