Online Shopping Adventurer Gifts

'God bless mommy, daddy, spot, and that sports car I bought off the Internet with daddy's credit card.'

One-click Ordering.

'I bought this Kit Car off the Internet for $12.93. I guess you get what you pay for.'

I got something - on Facebook! You did? From a long lost, twin sister? Almost as awesome! It's a pop-up ad for high-fiber breakfast bars. You're being facetious. Technology stinks! Maybe you're angry because you need fiber.

Tracking app: '3 minutes ago, we couldn't deliver your toilet paper parcel because you didn't answer the door.'

"I TOLD you not to buy a cabin bag online!"

"It serves me right for trying to order a pet online."

"I searched for a garden gnome on Amazon and he's been following me ever since.'"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

Terms and conditions

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'Our giant sale now on!'

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

Man on Stilts in a Market

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

You Shouldn't Have

"What's the cheapest thing we can order and still get a box?"

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

"I'm developing an app that solves the problem of not being able to buy things slightly more conveniently."

"Ah, sweatpants."

Drones

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.