Supermarket Skeptics Gifts

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Only One Item or Fewer.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

Artificial Isle

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

'The stuff legends are made of'

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

Eye of Newt Helper

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

GM Foods.

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

Till malfunction

"Oh look, the proposed site for the model Tesco's."

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

'Smooth Mustard' and 'Coarse mustard'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

That was 16 items.

'I'll celebrate Christmas in a supermarket and you?'

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

"Great idea boss! Keeps kids occupied and hooked up to a generator powers the store's lights!!"