Superfood Skeptic Gifts

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

"I sprinkle each bun with a little chia seed...you know...nature's super food."

"Rats, it's a hipster picnic: brace yourselves for weird so-called "superfood"..."

"First the good news, there's no longer any point in you eating broccoli."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Please don't kill me."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

Gullib-Os

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

'Too much Omega 3.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

"I don't usually like green food, but that looks pretty good."

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."