Superficial Humorist Pillows

The Female Brain and The Other One

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"The Eggsorcist"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

German School

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'