Appearance Humorist Pillows

"Could you make me look more like a swan billed platypus?"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"The Eggsorcist"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"What other tricks does he need?"

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Ed's receding hairline!

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Rap-scallions

Double Saxophone

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.