Suburbian Humorist Pillows

'Hi We're your neighbours from Tree Tops'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

German School

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"What are you doing?"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.