Superficial Humorist Gifts

The Female Brain and The Other One

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"The Eggsorcist"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

German School

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"What are you doing?"

The Evolution Of Man