Surreal Humorist Pillows

Car driving comes upon fork in road.

Man crawls in the desert see a vending machine with a sign: Mirages - Morning, afternoon, evening

Kibble Woman

Alien Abduction

Mermaid and reverse-mermaid meeting each other.

"Sorry, but 'Pop Goes the Weasel' doesn't get me in a romantic mood."

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Gee, thanks pal."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

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'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"