Surrealist Humorist Pillows

Museum Guard Portrait

Farmer Milks The White Out Of The Cow

'Oh my God! Ronny, come quick! It's an abandoned coal mine!'

Scream Shrink

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."