Surrealist Humorist Gifts

Museum Guard Portrait

Farmer Milks The White Out Of The Cow

'Oh my God! Ronny, come quick! It's an abandoned coal mine!'

Scream Shrink

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"What are you doing?"