Suntan Enthusiast Gifts

Solar-Powered Tanning Salon

'I didn't spend all that money on a suntan for nothing.'

"Suncreen's for the birds right, Oscar?!"

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

Santa Claus's Mail

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

High security Santa's grotto

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'Well no wonder it didn't work!'

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

Santa CGI Effect

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

The Reindeer Strike

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

Rating the Sunset

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.