Suntan Comedic Gifts

Prisoner sunbathing in his cell.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Well no wonder it didn't work!'

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

The tanning channel.

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

This is tech support. I will try to correct your problem, or perhaps create another problem.

'Please don't cover me with hot sand, Dear. It makes my skin so oily.'

"Are you new around here?"

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

"Rare, medium or well done?"

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

"And when exactly did your interest in health and safety start?"

Trucker's tan.

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'

"See? I told you our yard was too small for a swing set."

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

"It said on the tin 'put on 2 coats'..."

'I demand a second opinion!'

'Someone call 9-1-1!!!'

'Seriously! Have you ever considered spray tan?'

'Ark, Noah - not arc!'

'I had a great holiday, what do you think of the suntan?'

'I didn't spend all that money on a suntan for nothing.'

"Suncreen's for the birds right, Oscar?!"

What if it was raining June 18, 1889?

No man is an island ??" it just looks that way.