Suntan Aficionado Gifts

Man sunbathes with 'David Dickinson'-strength suncream.

"This is how I enjoy the sun."

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

Party Animals.

'Do you think that's wise?'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Back to school.

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

OMG...WTF?....LOL!!!...SOS...

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

Sumo Love.

UFO Shelter

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'Ok - I'm reaching out!'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Carpe diem

'The presence of what look like standard torch batteries proves conclusively that the craft was designed by super intelligent beings so that if it was captured it would be mistaken for a hoax.'

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

Party Party!

Snake charmer hypnotizes aliens in flying saucer

"Relax. They come in pieces."

Glass Bottom Tours.

Santa entering a pool for a swim

You have to hunt a different one

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Mostly Identified Flying Objects

'Those were the days, eh, Grandpa?'

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

'You're doing the crop circles anyway. We just want to pay you to do them with our corporate logo.'