Comedy Sprinter Gifts

Starter's Blocks.

City Marathon.

"How should we divide the teams?"

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

Robber on treadmill

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'I, pink, therefore, I ham...'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'Think Basics.'

"Previously on..."

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

John Cleese

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

I don't care if it's a better workout, I'm not wearing ankle weights.

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

Raymond tries out his new sweat-diverting eaves trough.

'Synchronised swimming.'

Heimlich's other lesser known maneuver.

Golfer turned Javelin thrower

'Reminds me of my first wife - finds it hard to let go...'

"I'll race you the last inch."

Shin splints. Next 5 miles.

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Potholes.

Marathon winners.

Myrtle learns a fatal lesson about swimming during a certain time of the month.

'Nothing. Zip. Nada... Dude, none of these marathoners are carrying cigarettes!'

"You're closing a door. No, wait. You're pulling something. . . You've strained a muscle in your arm, in your back, in your leg?"

10k Corral.

Golfing Work-out

'Wait for me!'

Gentlemen riders, who are so like professional jocks, you can hardly tell the difference!