Sunday Sofa Sitter Gifts

"Not another car chase. That's the last time I let you and the dog pick the video."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

Ow! Mutter! Toot! At the Old Superheroes Home. (This cartoon was originally published on 2003-07-28).

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"Attendance is always down the Sunday after Father's Day. They all get fishing gear."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Our occupations? I am a student of The Contemporary Scene and my friend, here is an observer of The Passing Parade.

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

Ice Fishing

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

'Late night with Norm Klosterman'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

'Seem the remote?'

I love a lazy Sunday. What do we have planned, Dear? Just the usual. Oh yes. What time shall we do it? How about now? Sounds good. I'm ready. One, two, three … You kids get off my lawn! Now let's snuggle. We're not even on your lawn! Quit sassin'!

'I'm just spending the morning in bed with the Sunday funnies.'

Action Film Shushing

How To Sit When You Are A Kid

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

Thanks for house sitting!

First Bar of Spring

Whoa. I just had a near-life experience.