Sunday Snoozer Gifts

"Attendance is always down the Sunday after Father's Day. They all get fishing gear."

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

Bed Seasons

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

The Sleeping Congregation.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Gone to seed.

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

"You're lucky you don't like worms. You get to sleep in."

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

'Shouldn't I be home in bed or something?'

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

Cats don't like to let the people that they live with have a lie-in.

Good luck with all the revision!!!

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.