Summer Job Explorer Gifts

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

Between Offices

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"Careful Hank, this one still has some fight in him."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'