Job Seeker Adventure Gifts

"I think you want Koreans advice"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

Now hiring.

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate. I'm flexible on location - I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume. I don't think you understand what that mwans. The octopus got the job because he's a great multitasker!

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

'I'm not saying this is a deadend job, but you can forget a trophy wife.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

Lying on your CV

'There were a lot of highly qualified applicants, but I was particularly impressed by your resume.'

"On your resume, under Achievements, what do you mean by 'inspired by actual events'?"

Graduate Job Openings

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"

At last he was ready to plug into online job search.

'We're looking for someone with a killer instinct.'

"Not hired?! But I got A's in all my classes!"

'I love your 'never-say-never' attitude, but we never hired you.'

"This job involves travel? Let me call my parole officer and OK it with him."

"Sorry, but your good references don't match the passion of your bad ones."