Job Seeker Adventure T-Shirts

"I think you want Koreans advice"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

'I'm not saying this is a deadend job, but you can forget a trophy wife.'

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

Lying on your CV

"On your resume, under Achievements, what do you mean by 'inspired by actual events'?"

'There were a lot of highly qualified applicants, but I was particularly impressed by your resume.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

At last he was ready to plug into online job search.

Graduate Job Openings

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"

"Sorry, but your good references don't match the passion of your bad ones."

'I love your 'never-say-never' attitude, but we never hired you.'

'I like you, Zog, what you lack in polish, you more than compensate for in clout.'

"Not hired?! But I got A's in all my classes!"

'We're looking for someone with a killer instinct.'