Summer Jobs Gifts

'No, Billy, I distinctly said that if you mow the lawn you can halve your allowance. That's why we ask for things in writing.'

"Jeffrey is interning at Quizno's this summer."

Pelican Summer Jobs

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"Mr. Rod...now that summer's here and school's out, I was wondering if you could give me some more work."

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Lawnmower

'Best to keep downwind.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

Shrink's Summer Job

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

'The kidney shape was a cool idea. Reminds us what you sold to pay for it.'

"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."

Food production

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

Help Wanted

'It's the only line of work I know. I'm a sidewalk Santa Claus during the holiday season.'

"Excuse me, are you hiring for the summer?"

'Play your cards right Kiddo, in 20 years you too can become Boogie Burger management material!'

'I got a job.'

"Oh man! It's the prettiest girl in school! She can't see I work here!"

"It's not easy in the gig economy. My buddy and I only have decent jobs once a whole year."