Summer Job Gifts

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

"Oh man! It's the prettiest girl in school! She can't see I work here!"

Lawnmower

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

Shrink's Summer Job

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

'Good morning, Mr. Miller. I'll cut your grass for ten dollars.'

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

'The kidney shape was a cool idea. Reminds us what you sold to pay for it.'

Santa advertising for Elvis.

"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."

Food production

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

Help Wanted

"So you work as Fluffy Biffy, the J-Mart Rooster People-Greeter?"

'It's the only line of work I know. I'm a sidewalk Santa Claus during the holiday season.'

"Excuse me, are you hiring for the summer?"

'Play your cards right Kiddo, in 20 years you too can become Boogie Burger management material!'

Pelican Summer Jobs

"Of course, it doesn't pay as much as during the season."

"It's not easy in the gig economy. My buddy and I only have decent jobs once a whole year."

"See you next year guys. . . That's the bastard gig economy for you!"

'I got a job.'