Succulent Caregiver Gifts

Cactus Mime

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Thanks

Father

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

The Cactus Reader

'One day son, all this will be yours!'

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

Yummy Mummy

Saguaro Cacti.

'Is it contagious, doctor?'

A breastfeeding child learns music

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

You had me at succulents!

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

"Fall prevention!"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

'At least now he sleeps through the night.'

"I'm cactus!"

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'