Succulent Lover Gifts

Cactus

Saguaro Cacti.

Get the jump on global warming.

'One day son, all this will be yours!'

the spitting cactus...

You had me at succulents!

Plant Lady

Thanks

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"Do I have to go out again!?"

The Houseplant Cemetery.

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

The Cactus Reader

"I feel like I'm persecting."

"I called you my little succulent because you're low maintenance."

"Forget it, Larry. We’re not bringing it home."

"Mom, can I obliterate New Jersey? Pleeease, mom?"

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

Snake Blogging

Cactus Man.

"I'm going to the store—do we need anything?"

The Self-Regulation of the Press.

When Dick quit, he walked off with the company Slushy fund!'

'Do you like my new fragrance - It's called 'Surrender'.'

Tentacle attacking diver.

The Plant Place - Drought special!

"Why do I always have to play the pirates?"

He'll have a crumb of wheat toast. No I won't! I'll have a sausage biscuit with cheese. And we'll have a plain glass of water. No I won't! I'll have a mocha with whipped cream. And for dessert … I'll have a hot buttered blueberry scone with pumpkin-spice frosting and peppermint sprinkles! That looks lovely! He'll have plain yogurt. If you don't eat right, you won't be around for me to berate. Give me a double donut burger! A triple would be more humane. House of Java.

WARNING! Armed Response.

'I'm not happy with my 'honey and lilac' shampoo.'

"Whore of Babylon?"

Pygmy giant squid

Man grabbed by sea creature from the television.

"She's very affectionate!"

"If I trip over something, it takes a minute for me to fall down!"