Sub-prime Survivor Gifts

'Cheer up. Mr. Thomas, it's only until the bail out is over!'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

Sub-prime Bear

"The trees are laughing at us."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

Economic casualties.

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

Jetsgo out of business.

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'