Sub-prime Survivor Gifts

'Cheer up. Mr. Thomas, it's only until the bail out is over!'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

Sub-prime Bear

"The trees are laughing at us."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

Economic casualties.

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

Coming out of the crisis

'Our cries of Armageddon were completely ignored, so let's just keep throwing money at the economy.'

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'