Subprime Storyteller Gifts

Sub-prime Bear

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

Those who fail to learn from the past will be forced to relive it.

Pandora's box.

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

"The Fad Herald cometh." "Wasn't he just here? Why's he back so soon?" "Hear ye, hear ye. The following is out: Human labor. The following are now in: Pizza delivery droids, Amazon delivery drones, and replacing all blue- and white-collar jobs with cheap, highly productive robot labor... ...robots who never sleep, never ask for a raise, and never complain about harassment... ...because they're too busy plotting the extinction of the meatbag species. We will isolate you. Alienate you from one

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

Financial Bailout Required.

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

Mega Construction Company: Paving Paradise and Putting Up Parking Lots for Over 50 Years. Deal with it.

"I gave on the E train."

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'Our cries of Armageddon were completely ignored, so let's just keep throwing money at the economy.'

Metrocard error messages

Subway. The economy is surging! I hope protections are in place. In a digital world, a surge can lead to a system crash.

"Well, that's not a good market indicator."

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

John Updike.

Business Fairy Tales.

Boarding House Kitchen

Big Bad Wolf Foreclosure.

'Cheer up. Mr. Thomas, it's only until the bail out is over!'

'I'm too tired to hear the whole story. Who wins, the bear or the bull?'

'We've got to think about our lending policy for small businesses... Like my tailor!'

'I'd like to read a little poem about teamwork that I wrote on the subway.'

The Economy is in Decline!!

Mark Wahlberg

'Once upon a time there were five economic tests...'

"The cow jumped over the moon? The dish ran away with the spoon? Dad... it just doesn't pass the smell test."

Mark and Gwyneth had a dark secret. At night, once the curtains were closed to the suburban world outside, the facade they put up to the neighbours was revealed to be 100 genuine...they were totally boring.