Stuffy Surgeon Gifts

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

'Nurse Wilhelm will be live-blogging the whole procedure.'

'Golf War Syndrome.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Preserved head and mobile phone.

'We've got a cloudburst here...it's raining stats and logs!'

'He's been a perfect jewel, ever since I knocked the stuffing out of him.'

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'It's a routine operation.'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

Surgery.

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."