Studying Spiders T-Shirts

Spider reads sign on water pipe which says 'You must be this itsy bitsy to climb up this water spout'.

Dinner at the Trapdoors

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

The Amazing Man-Spider

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Extreme Bungy

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

Want the wings as an appetizer?

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'Are we there yet?'

Spider Web Stocking

Spider's Web Trampoline

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

OMG UR HOT

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

Fly Tightrope walker

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'Woo! Close call!'

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'

Spider watching his web cam.

"Arachnophunnies"