Spider-surprised Stargazers T-Shirts

"AA-ARGH!"

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

OMG UR HOT

Spider's Web Trampoline

Want the wings as an appetizer?

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'I want you to bring me one.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Are we there yet?'

Spider Web Stocking

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Ooh don't stop Bob, the last time you ran your fingers through my hair like this was on our wedding night!"

Fly Tightrope walker

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'Reserved' (presumably for little miss muffet)

"Arachnophunnies"

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

'I'm just surfing the web.'

'Rats, we've caught a dung beetle: They taste horrible...'