Stressful Situation Humorist Gifts

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

Safe harbour

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

'Albert Figgis gets board backing.'

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

Struggling chef.

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."

Pre-minstrel Tension.

"One last request: move my car to the 11:30 A.M. to 1 P.M. Monday -Thursday side of the street for tomorrow."

'I'm not asking you to lie - I'm just asking you to go insane.'

"Staff shortages and increased workloads means all leave has been cancelled...but as compensation we are being offered enhanced toilet breaks!"

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

'Quick! Contact my doctor.'

'...And here, on line 27, where you say 'Beam me up, Scotty'....'

"I haven't got time for a whole lot of paperwork. The wedding's tomorrow."

'I see you're aware of the problem with the phones.'

"I think the man in the corner may have the covid."

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."

"You are completely sane, but I think I can cure you."

Errands: the Magazine for the Errands Life Style

Hotline.

'I had my tattoo removed!'