Stressful Situation Humorist Pillows

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

Safe harbour

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

Struggling chef.

'Albert Figgis gets board backing.'

For temporary relief of symptoms due to cold or flu. May cause drowsiness. Use caution when operating machinery.

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."

Pre-minstrel Tension.

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

'I'm not asking you to lie - I'm just asking you to go insane.'

"Staff shortages and increased workloads means all leave has been cancelled...but as compensation we are being offered enhanced toilet breaks!"

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"One last request: move my car to the 11:30 A.M. to 1 P.M. Monday -Thursday side of the street for tomorrow."

"I think the man in the corner may have the covid."

"You are completely sane, but I think I can cure you."

'I see you're aware of the problem with the phones.'

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."

"I haven't got time for a whole lot of paperwork. The wedding's tomorrow."

'Quick! Contact my doctor.'

'...And here, on line 27, where you say 'Beam me up, Scotty'....'

Errands: the Magazine for the Errands Life Style

Hotline.

'I had my tattoo removed!'