Street Story Enthusiast Gifts

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"This is what's known as a book."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Alberich steals the gold

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Redlaw and the Phantom

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Sir Conrad Murgatroyd

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"