Street Story Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Jacques et Jille

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Hansel and Gretal

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Alberich steals the gold

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

Redlaw and the Phantom

Sir Conrad Murgatroyd

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Ghostship