Short Story Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This history paper is about an event that happened a long time ago, but in the great scheme of things isn't all that important, making this report very short. The end.'

"Yep, that's it - seven pages, I only write what I know."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"I'm sorry, Dave. You lost me after the first 140 words."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Edgar Allen Poe

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Alberich steals the gold

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'