Short Story Lover T-Shirts

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Distractions Of The Great

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Say hello to my little friend."

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Iris Murdoch

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

The intellectual.

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Thomas Hardy

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."