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The princess and the pea.

'Tell us again, Grandpa, about the time you almost had Tarzan for lunch.'

'The three little pigs attended a professional development seminar on dealing with bullies and they were never bothered by the big bad wolf again.'

"Don't waste your breath. We'll get them when the housing market collapses."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'To think that we completely ignored his symptoms, and just nicknamed him 'Sneezy'.'

"And, because a princess can't be forced to testify against her prince, they lived happily ever after."

"Do the words 'Huff and Puff' mean anything to you Mr. Wolf?"

You Are Here: river, woods, grandmother's house.

'Dad, tell me again about the day you got it all together.'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

"You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"

'Turns out she's Anaemic.'

'Ten bucks says she serves porridge again.'

'Yes Rapunzel, we do have a warrant. So let down your hair, or we're coming in the hard way!'

"We're down to seven. Snow White's just kicked out Gropey!"

'You were meant to plant them not eat them, Jack.'

SUNDAY SCHOOL, 'Before we go any further with this, does it have a happy ending?'

The Little Engine that Faced a Tough Moral Dilemma.

'Thank goodness for duct tape.'

We've found you somewhere bigger, it's a size 12.

'Blast that Goldilocks! Now your mother thinks she needs one of those fancy orthopaedic beds!'

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"

'If you refuse to open the door, we have the authority to huff and puff, and blow your house down.'

"The Big Bad Wolf Bank has served us with foreclosures."

"Get your earplugs. There's a princess coming and you know how they love to sing to the forst animals..."

"Careful. Plates are hot, cold and just right."

'Thats not fair!!'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

The princess and the key

'And it's been so long since my grandaughter visited, she probably wouldn't even know me from a wolf.'

"What say you just buzz me in tonight, honey?"

'Your house was blown off by a big bad wolf hey?! It looks very much like an insurance scam to me!...'

"'Slow and steady wins the race.' What's yours say?"

'It really does look like a giant patchwork quilt from up here.'