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"Once upon a time, in a land far away...."

The three little pigs taunt the big, bad wolf, as he remains in his house, fearful of catching 'swine flu'.

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Late night teddy reading

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Edgar Allen Poe

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Bacchus.