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Separating fact from fiction will be your main objective this morning.

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

101 Ways to Play the Old-Person Card

'Have you the Karma Sutra in large print?'

'Those, honey? Those are books. That's what they make movies from.'

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

Books for fools.

Angela Carter

'Everything you say subtracts from the sum of human knowledge.'

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

'Your Latest Book? Just giving it some attention'

'What would you like to eat with your book tonight?'

'Yes, it's very good, but I'm afraid it's already been done, Mr. Nutkin.'

A customer eats a book in a bookstore cafe.

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

"The script is based on a book I'm about to write"

"I hate how they always try to smarten up the book."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

First Novels.

"Meet the author"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Victor Hugo

Romance

Reading my Critics

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

A heart shaped cake

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."