Short Story Lover Gifts

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Jean-Paul Sartre

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Distractions Of The Great

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Say hello to my little friend."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

The intellectual.

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

Iris Murdoch

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Thomas Hardy

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'