Street Crime Satire Enthusiast Pillows

Gun Crime.

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

Mafia machine gun case.

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

Money Launderette

'And what do you do?'

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

Smelly mugger unfazed by victims CS Gas

Incriminating Evidence Against the Cat Burglar.

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

"Goddam Dogs."

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

'Armed robbery, eh? I'm in for being out of compliance with a Federal guideline

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

'I always thought wine came from half-empty bottles left in the park.'

How ghastly! He's holding his knife like a pen!

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

"Of course we have evidence. The whole thing was captured on video."

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

Murder Village - Bursts of street fighting every half hour

"It's a HO.. HO.. HOLD-UP!"